empathy
/ˈempəTHē/
The ability to understand and share the feelings of another.
I remember Sophie being the most popular girl in school, dating the most handsome guy in the world, so I thought at the time. I also remembered her bullying me at the lockers and in the gym. She had asked me for a quarter for the soda machine and when I gave it to her, she’d shove me on the shoulder really hard. Today, seeing her at the local convenience store, brought all this back to me. Now, she looks nothing like I remembered. For a 27 year-old, she looked as if she aged to her late-thirties.. Her tall and fragile frame seemed equally marred by a difficult life. Her long hair was now brittle, disheveled and tinged with strings of grey, that framed just at the hairline and crowned her long and worried face. Instead of going to college, Sophie married her high school sweetheart. This relationship yielded three kids in the shortest amount of time.
There they were, all four of them—Sophie and her three kids. They all seemed just a year shy in age of each other. Two of them were in the basket, with one tugging at her long legs as she struggled to put her groceries on the conveyer belt. Several of her packages flew from her basket by what looked like her three-year-old. Unnerved, she lifted the little girl responsible for jettisoning her canned goods from her basket, and ordered the oldest of the three to help her collect the cans from the market floor—including the one can that crept ever closer down the aisle, resting at my feet.
Noticing the impossibility of Sophie minding her five year-old carelessly chasing down the can of Ravioli, I reluctantly reached down, putting the can in her tiny hands. She quickly snatched it from my hand and ran back in the direction towards her mother, who watched as her child ran back to her. She looked at me and smiled–then immediately frowned because she recognized who I was–then again, forced a smile. When her items were all placed on the conveyor belt, and her children all settled, she finally spoke to me, the ringing of groceries scanned by the cashier filling the background.
“Kids,” she said nervously, “You know how it is?”
“Not really,” I said. “I don’t have any.”
“Oh,” She barely parted her lips when she replied, “Must be nice.”
In the distance, I could hear each item being scanned, the voice of the overhead announcements, and the other cash registers ringing—her kids disappeared as I tried to figure out how best to respond to her.
After I paid for my few items, I helped Sophie with her bags and children to her car. We talked a bit about what happened after high school, if I got the chance to go to college, and her failed marriage. She told me that she was fired from her job because her boss considered her ‘unreliable’ for the work. Her youngest got sick often, her ex didn’t help with the kids and only threatens to take them away from her because he thinks she’s an unfit mother. She went on to tell me how she works long hours, just so she can pay the bills and the sitters–and more importantly–so the kids can eat. She told me how hard her life was now, as her youngest daughter looked on at us, focusing on the world surrounding her.
Sophie just took in a deep breath, smiled and said “It’s all just so tiring you know?
I tried to figure out how best to respond. Instead, I could only smile and nod.
Image credit: Herald Sun
AIDY
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I sometimes wonder how some of the people that I knew in high school ended up. I know of a few fro our class of 1970. A couple seem just the same. One, who is extremely prejudiced, is raising four grandchildren, two of them mixed race. Another, who was slender, athletic and attractive is now quite obese and on her third husband. Funny thing, I haven’t heard any thing about any of the guys, except for a couple that didn’t make it back from Viet Nam.
Mike Goad recently posted..Nature is so amazing!
Hello Mike!
I was surprised to see her actually. She gave me such a hard time in high school and even after all she put me through, I was concerned for her personal situation. I wished her well. Isn’t it something how things turn out for some. Like in the two people you described. Its like karma pays them back for something people usually go against. Which is why I try to maintain respect in my relationships with the people I interact with. You just never know if you will run back into them some day.
Thanks for the comment Mike, take care!
AIDY recently posted..Mia
People really changed. If not for the better, others may change due to lifestyle. Thus, we need to make the most out of what we have because everything is just temporary.
This is indeed so, Patricia. Thank you for commenting.
AIDY recently posted..Mia
I do really look back at parts of my life where I felt pushed around and realized how happy I was even then. Looking back, I’m beyond glad that I’ve had some really supportive family and friends around me throughout my life. Now I’m at a point where I feel relatively confident in the direction I’m going. It really saddens me to picture those who feel they have hit a speed bump thanks to some poor decisions in the past.
I don’t believe in kicking someone when they are down on their luck. Good on you to look on her with kindness as opposed to malice. She experienced a harsh wakeup call when she grew up and realized she would not always be in control and on top of things. Sadly I do sort of believe high school never ends. I still see many people who act no better than a teenage bully. What they don’t see though is that the minute they run into a streak of bad luck…they’ll find out who their real friends are. Looks like this poor girl found out the hard way.
I think it is important to take an opportunity to look back at the things done in life. I am confident she will do well. The last I spoke with her she was able to get help from her mother, and her ex left the State. So things are certainly looking up for her and I continue to wish her well.
Thank you, Poetess for your words of wisdom.
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